Love

Back in November, I had a diary day that scribbled me to a working definition of the word "love." It is certainly a well-used and scantily understood word these days. I boiled my clarification down to two things. To love is to see and to allow. See all the layers, the beauty, the sloppiness, the mistaken identity, the being beneath the robes.... Allow the process, the flow and unfolding however replete with errors, blunders, misinformation, genius, artistry or lack of imagination. Allow the time it takes for whatever it is to blossom, drop away or take hold.

To see and to allow. Important in these two things is what is not being said. Seeing is not projecting. Allowing is not interfering.

But in the past couple of months, I realized there is something missing in this concise summary. When I love someone, I see because I look. I allow but I am interested. These things require engagement, action, consciousness.

Think of a baby who is starting to learn how to walk. It is such an important thing to learn and really, there is no way to teach this mode of locomotion! The Mother sees the child, watches for the progress and cannot speed up the child's process. The parent can move things potentially harmful out of the way, occasionally catch the tumble, cheer on the efforts, encourage with outstretched arms and provide band aids and healing kisses. But these things do not interfere with the unfolding, they are a support.

All the people I know are learning how to walk in one way or another. I cannot teach a thing about it, but when I have personal experience or knowledge, I can support by pointing out the slippery rug and being gentle when my dear one chooses not to avoid it. I can be aware by seeing the tears they won't allow to fall or by noticing the wisdom backed up by the light shining in their eyes. And I can remember that I do not know what is best for them, but still want them to have all the best that can be theirs.

This simple definition opens to a complexity that compels. I also find these two points to be applicable in every situation one might employ the word "love." Such as, "I love the mountains!" "I love you even when I don't like what you do." "I love President Obama!" and "I love you."